I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
