Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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