If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
