She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
