Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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