i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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