so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
