so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
