i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Randomize
