i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How naked do you want me to be?
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