Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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