I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
