im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
