i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
