I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize