No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
