It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
