AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
