4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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