last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
