New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
