No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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