I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
