Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize