Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
