i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
