The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I came so hard my ears popped.
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