Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
