I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
