then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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