so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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