am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
