my vag is so smooth its legendary
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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