id be glad to
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
