Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
