If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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