U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
