She is in my trunk
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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