New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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