after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
