There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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