Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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