The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize