i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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