he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
