There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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