Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny