I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
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If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
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Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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