She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think a kid would responsible me up
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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