i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night