my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize