That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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