I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
