Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
