Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
