This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize