You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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