And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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