sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
