I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
