She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry my hands just texted you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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