Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
