Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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