Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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