he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fuck appropriateness.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So vagazzling was a success
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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