I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
